At one stage, early on in “The Scottish Ambassador” process, I thought writing this book would be a fairly straightforward task. After all, this is not my first book. I wrote my first one when I was six. How hard could another one be? My writing career has shown some consistencies over the decades. My […]
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Resolve.
Last week AOL asked me to write a piece on travel resolutions for their readers. While those five are definitely contenders for my own personal list of resolutions (with the possible exception of drinking plastic bags of tea—I prefer it by the bucket), my version features a few alternative aspirations for 2011. 1 Wreak revenge […]
“You’re Beautiful.”
[First wee excerpt from the Florida chapter — from my two trips down there, currently titled “Banquet of Consequences” or perhaps “To a Pelican” or “To an Octogenarian Ex-Pat at a Burns Supper on the Rodeo Grounds.” I am still mulling over this one.] Walking through a seemingly deserted exit at Fort Lauderdale Airport I […]
“But can you sit down?” A less demure take on tartan
Notes from a morning in Portland, Oregon, during which I consider adding more tartan to my wardrobe. I leave the café where I have been perusing Scottish-American taxidermy online and trot out onto Hawthorne Boulevard. A sausage dog lollops by, wearing a fetching Royal Stuart scarf. I see tartan everywhere all of a sudden. As […]
“I love you kilt and thistle with your tartan bounty and rich heritage”
Notes from a morning in Portland, Oregon, during which I continue to be perplexed about the fact that people make sporrans — Scottish manbags/kilt accessories — out of animal heads, after a visit to the Kilt and Thistle Shoppe in Salem. The next day at the Fresh Pot coffeehouse in Portland, I scroll down the […]
“You speak really good English for someone from Scotland”
Sometimes people say this kind of stuff to me when I’m on the road. Sometimes I eavesdrop.
“Well, when you find a woman who ain’t your cousin round these parts, you want to grab them fast. Why don’t you stay, we’ll get a cabin up in the woods, have us a shackload of kids?” Man with three teeth, Gatlinburg, Tennessee
Stoaters
I’ve been working away on The Scottish Ambassador project for three years now. I’m so close to done – just a few more trips to take. I’ve still got to learn Gaelic in Salt Lake City, bagpipe lessons await in New Jersey and I still have to meet my monster, Nessie (in lesser known rollercoaster […]
Extraordinary
Still at the Kilt and Thistle Shoppe in Salem, Oregon, I search for my tartan. William is a man who knows his tartans and is happy to show me my colours on an aged monitor similar to the one I first played Donkey Kong on. We scroll through the 5000 tartans contained in the database […]
The Tartan Radar
…in which I continue my quest to become 100% Scottish by venturing into a Scottish Shoppe in Salem, Oregon My pace slows as I register the wail of bagpipes filling the synthetically bright, subterranean-level shoppe with their insistent drone. I am instantly sobered by their sound and assailed with sudden doubts about my ability to […]
Additional “Additional Badgers”
Additional Badgers… part 2 Being a relatively new resident of North America, amusing beasties such as raccoons and skunks still have me pointing and exclaiming with delight. I am still not 100% sure of appropriate creature encounter behaviour. I think I’ve got the basics of bear etiquette down – it’s all in the claws, apparently […]
