I’ve been catching up on my reading and in between re-reading my favourite book, The Good Fairies of New York, by my favourite author, fellow Scot Martin Millar and dipping into my battered Boyfriend 1963 annual, I’ve been poring over Scottish Proverbs. In this classic from 1948, Forbes MacGregor tells us, “There is no surer guide to […]
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My Mother Does Not Like Squirrels
This is an edit of a wee something I was writing for something else… I’m supposed to be writing about Texas today, but I always seem to be able to find reasons to postpone writing about Texas, such as my mother’s dislike of squirrels. Writing about Texas is hard, writing about squirrels is easy. Texas […]
Me and the Alphabet of Knowledge
Despite my Scottish accent, both my names are as Irish as a grumpy donkey tied outside a whitewashed cottage, seagulls trying to steal chips on Dun Laoire Pier, and the ability to tolerate excessive levels of shocking shamrockery in order to fleece tourists of pint-money during the weeks around St. Patrick’s Day. Aefa is a […]
Panda Tartan: Edinburgh Zoo I was 30-something years ahead of you
Finally, I no longer need to feel torn between whether to wear my official clan tartan options or the makey-uppy Mulholland one printed out for me by a charming gentleman I met in a muddy field in East Tennessee. And forget all previous plans I had to get kitted out head to toe in official Shrek […]
Highland Sprite
(Posting this from Berlin – it’s a wee bit I’m trying out for the Texas chapter, xxxa) The Highlands might start just 20 miles away from the creaky old house in Glasgow that I grew up in, but 20 miles is a long way in a country that’s only 37 miles wide at its narrowest […]
Barbecue, Berbere Spice and Perfect Teeth
I’ve been back in Glasgow for a couple of weeks now. I was away for a couple of decades. I still can’t remember the UK mobile phone number that I’ve had for the last five years, but I have a dentist. I’m trying to think up ailments so I can register with a GP too. […]
Lobster trumps Haddock (or why I first left Scotland and went to America)
I first moved over to this side of the Atlantic as part of a brisk Transatlantic trade in teen lobster servers. Back then, Scotland’s universities provided a summer supply of clambake attendants, buffet minions and housekeeping underlings to the hotels and resorts of Martha’s Vineyard each May. The Gulf War had smitten all graduate job […]
Stewed Pears and Eggplant
(I just added most of this bit to the Oregon chapter… after rummaging in the freezer…) I’m prospecting in Portland’s Scottish Country Shop, confused by their array of imported chocolate bars, kippers, Irish black puddings and jars of Sharwood’s curry. Looking in the freezer is like peeking into the cupboards of an eccentric, elderly Scottish aunt […]
Snail racing
Yesterday I was editing a section of the book that makes a wee reference to the time I won 50 pounds on a snail race. I have also won money betting on dogs, horses, mice and siblings. I suffered most injuries from betting on siblings and mice. The snail won me the most cash. For […]
Edinburgh vs Glasgow
Just read Dan Savage’s take on Edinburgh versus Glasgow in an old Travel and Leisure. Seems about right… “For me, the difference between Scotland’s two leading cities can be summed up in two images. I spent one day in Edinburgh, and along the Royal Mile I saw bagpipers on every street corner, turned out in […]
