Notes from a morning in Portland, Oregon, during which I continue to be perplexed about the fact that people make sporrans — Scottish manbags/kilt accessories — out of animal heads, after a visit to the Kilt and Thistle Shoppe in Salem. The next day at the Fresh Pot coffeehouse in Portland, I scroll down the […]
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Additional “Additional Badgers”
Additional Badgers… part 2 Being a relatively new resident of North America, amusing beasties such as raccoons and skunks still have me pointing and exclaiming with delight. I am still not 100% sure of appropriate creature encounter behaviour. I think I’ve got the basics of bear etiquette down – it’s all in the claws, apparently […]
Additional Badgers
Driving toward Salem, we seem to be heading straight into a rain cloud. It looms forbiddingly on the horizon. This Salem, an un-witchy one, is the capital of Oregon, home to a population of 140,000, a stately university campus and dozens of imposing government buildings. It also boasts an impressive tally of no less than […]
Things I’ve Done While Working On This Book That I Would Not Otherwise Have Done
1. Realised too late that I had forgotten the most vital element of my Halloween costume — tequila — and had to walk into a crowded Savannah Scottish bar dressed as a Scottish terrier, sober. First Dogs, Savannah, Georgia 2. Tried to play upwind while golfing on a desert sand course where they harden the […]
“You speak really good English for someone from Scotland”
Sometimes people say this kind of stuff to me when I’m on the road. Sometimes I eavesdrop. 1. “You speak really good English for someone from Scotland.” Gas station attendant, Hoquiam, Washington, Chapter 6: Hellhole of the Pacific 2. “Well, when you find a woman who ain’t your cousin round these parts, you want to grab them […]
Stewed Pears and Eggplant
(I just added most of this bit to the Oregon chapter… after rummaging in the freezer…) I’m prospecting in Portland’s Scottish Country Shop, confused by their array of imported chocolate bars, kippers, Irish black puddings and jars of Sharwood’s curry. Looking in the freezer is like peeking into the cupboards of an eccentric, elderly Scottish aunt […]
The Ambassador
I am posting this wee chunk o’ the book again because (a) it explains where I came up with the name for the book and (b) because I am a slothful, lazy human who has failed to write anything new and amusing to entertain you with over the last week. Downtown Portland, Oregon, Rose Parade […]
Portland Oregon and Sloe Gin Fizz
“Well Portland Oregon and sloe gin fizz, if that ain’t love then tell me what is. Well I lost my heart it didn’t take no time, but that ain’t all. I lost my mind in Oregon.” So warble Loretta Lynn and Jack White on the track, “Portland, Oregon.” It seems that Loretta and Jack are […]
Crosschecking
I stand in line for U.S. immigration at Vancouver airport, beside a sign warning that maple syrup is among prohibited items in hand baggage, and entertain myself with syrupy sweet plans to wreak havoc and destruction on an unsuspecting world. I smirk at my sticky schemes and an elegant East European woman moves away from […]
“But can you sit down?” A less demure take on tartan
Notes from a morning in Portland, Oregon, during which I consider adding more tartan to my wardrobe. I leave the café where I have been perusing Scottish-American taxidermy online and trot out onto Hawthorne Boulevard. A sausage dog lollops by, wearing a fetching Royal Stuart scarf. I see tartan everywhere all of a sudden. As […]
